Seat Selection

Choose your seat. Or don’t. It won’t really matter.

Welcome to FlyAndCry’s Seat Selection System™.
We’ve spent years developing a highly unpredictable algorithm to ensure every passenger experiences maximum discomfort and confusion.

If you’re lucky, you’ll get a seat.
If you’re unlucky, you’ll get two boarding passes with different seat numbers.
If you’re very unlucky, your seat will be missing entirely.

Available options may include (subject to change without notice):

• Middle seat between two angry strangers
• Seat with chewing gum from 1998
• Window seat with a wall instead of a window
• Aisle seat where the cart hits your knee every 11 minutes
• Seat next to a crying child orchestra (rehearsal in progress)
• “Reclining” seat that moves 2° back and never returns
• Row that does not exist on the physical plane
• Seat with a mysterious damp patch

We also offer Premium Chaos™ Upgrades:

• Guaranteed Middle Seat: $9.99
• Seat “near” your companion (±8 rows): $24.99
• A seat that was wiped down this year: $14.99
• “Possibly” working tray table: $12.49
• Seat without seatbelt buckle denting your spine: $29.99
• Anti-screaming headphones (not included): $19.99
• Randomly assigned extra discomfort: $6.66

All seat selections are final, irreversible, and may be overwritten at boarding by “operational reality.”
We reserve the right to sell your seat twice, or lose it entirely.

Choosing not to select a seat? Bold move.
We’ll assign you something truly special — usually at the back, next to the rear service toilet with a broken latch.

Note:
Seat map shown is for entertainment purposes only and may not reflect the actual aircraft.
Certain seats may be decorative or holographic.

To proceed with selecting your future disappointment, press the button below.

Or just sit on the floor. Many passengers do.