Manage Booking

Trying to manage your booking?
That’s brave.

At FlyAndCry, we believe modern problems require ancient solutions.
That’s why our Manage Booking system is proudly 98% offline.

To make any change, please:

1. Visit our regional office (open bi-weekly, no elevator access)
   
2. Bring 3 printed copies of your booking, your ID, and proof of desperation
   
3. Wait in line behind people trying to downgrade from 34C to 34B
   

All requests are billable.
Here’s a sample of our totally fair pricing:

• Change seat: $29.99
  
• Window seat (with or without window): $49.99
  
• Add middle name: $19.99 per letter
  
• Remove middle name: $39.99 per letter
  
• Switch to a different flight: $199.99 + emotional damage fee
  
• Ask a question: $14.99 per word
  
• Receive an answer: $24.99 per shrug
  
• Talk to a human: $99.00 per minute
  
• Request refund: $249 processing fee (non-refundable, of course)
  

Fine print:

Booking changes unavailable during Mercury retrograde.
Rescheduling allowed only if your original flight no longer exists.
Cancellations must be submitted within 2 minutes, via a secret hidden form.
Refunds take up to 500 business days to process (if ever approved).

Final advice:
The easiest way to manage your booking is not to book at all.
But if you already did — embrace the pain.

Push the button below to pretend you’re in control.
You’re not.