We love the internet. Just not for this.
Want to check in online?
We don’t blame you. Unfortunately, we don’t do that here.
At FlyAndCry, we believe in face-to-face suffering. That’s why all check-ins must be done in person — by you or your authorized representative.
Here’s how to check in:
- Arrive at the airport exactly 24 hours before departure. Not earlier. Not later.
- Find our check-in desk (Gate C, Terminal 6B Annex, Basement Level 2)
- Wait in line behind confused passengers and livestock
- Present your passport, booking, dental record, and written permission from your parents (if applicable)
- Sign Form 11-A (Check-In Intent Acknowledgement) in blue ink
- Provide your own pen (black pens not accepted)
OR:
Send a representative with a notarized power of attorney.
We will verify their identity using a secret question about your childhood.
Check-in hours:
- 4:45–5:15 AM
- Mondays and even-numbered Thursdays only
- Closed on holidays, weekends, and staff birthdays
Late check-in? No check-in? No flight.
We recommend arriving the night before and sleeping near the kiosk.
Optional Upgrades:
- Rent a folding chair while waiting: $9.99/hour
- Priority check-in (guarantees nothing): $29.99
- Avoid eye contact with staff: $4.99
- Breathe near counter: $1.99 surcharge
- “Self-check-in” screen (does nothing): $14.99 for 60 seconds of placebo
Final note:
We’re working hard to bring digital check-in by 2038.
Until then — stand in line, like it’s 1972.
